Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Bloody Massacre....

Don't let the title scare you o..
It's not humans this time.


PROBLEM

I woke up one day and I looked at my imaginary lincoln navigator aka "my car." I said to it you deserve some scrubing. Without hesitating, I grabbed car soap, hose, and car wax. It took time but the car was spotless by the time I finished. I was so proud of myself and I went inside to eat...thinking hmm I'll be rolling tomorrow.

Next day, I received a wonderful present on my windshield...BIRD POOP!...To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I smiled and stayed positive like I have been doing everyday but TODAY's own was exceptional. It's as if this birds perhaps one bird with a huge appetite had a fiesta or some sort of family reunion on my car. I was almost late for work and I couldn't stop by the car wash. I had to drive my multi-colored, poop-stained car to work. Insult + Injury mixed with superlative Rubbish.


SOLUTION

I am not upset o cause I just came up with a solution. If you have a better one, let me know but this is my own sha. I am going to do night vigil (- prayer) with my gun. I will guard my car overnight and shoot any bird that flies in my neighborhood. They are all guilty as far as I am concerned...

23 comments:

LG said...

First!!!


hehehehehehehehe yeye dey smell!!,
u neva hear say gun no dey kill bird again, i go borrow u my catapult,it delivers lol!!!!

Freaksho said...

i say kill em all,let God sort em out.

ablackjamesbond said...

I will be praying for you. For strength to stay up all night after a hard day's job. And for the precision to get the bird and not ur neighbor's window.

Allied said...

Can you shoot one for me? men those "eye aiye" destroyed my beautiful car too..

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahahaahaa!

I once saw a brand new 2002 Mercedes benz coup . Gleaming white. It was parked under a tree around my old job in Washington, D.C. The top was down and the interior was a cream leather.

Well, it was riddled with loads of bird poop! I took pictures and everything and constantly laugh when i think of that car.

Trust me, what happened to your moto cannot compare, so please put the gun away. lol!

Simi Speaks said...

heyyyyyy too! lol. how u dey?!

Omosewa said...

Lmaooo...too funny.U shd use catapault actually.

darkelcee said...

Catapult or gun is dangerous except you can handle them well.

Why not be a scarecrow and scare the s***t outta of their butts!lolll

like the yoruba saying...the child that says his mother will not sleep, will not be able to sleep too"

30+ said...

Lmao


I shall join black james bond in praying for you.

Ndo

Afrobabe said...

lol...pls dont miss and shot the police oh....wont be funny at all...

princesa said...

lol!
Birds dont fly at night now except for bats and owls and they are not the culprits, are they?

How have u been dear?

Be silent said...

He he hehhehe i bet you need to do that...

Ollay said...

Lol...you're not serious. The solution is never to park your car under a tree...learned that the hard way.

Olamild said...

My car is not even packed under the tree ollay, it's on my drive way.

Olamild said...

Lol LG

Thanks broda@freaksho

Lmaooo.. Please do@ blackjames


I sure will@allied

Buhhahahah the owner will be so upset@solomon

Lol@ simi & omosewa

That's a good idea@ darkelce.. where can I find a scarecrow?

God will help me noow lol@ 30 & afro

Princesaaaaaa abeggg bats in the suburb? hahhaha

Yes o my sistah@be silent

OluwaDee said...

lol at ur solution. Abeg get some rest or just buy a car cover.

feather said...

that wil work i'm sure..:)

Kafo said...

take ammmm easy oooo

just make sure u hit your target and not your windshield

Lighty said...

lol. just imagine!

AlooFar said...

Just mind the windscreen!
Don't break it...

dat one okrika girl...xyz said...

Gun ke? Maybe you can poison them; act like you are trying to be a good citizen and feed them bird food but in reality na poison. Best part is when they die the city will come and remove them from the ground if you call 311.

diary of a G said...

sounds like them birds need to respect themselves cos they won't get far goin around poopin on people's car

with the change in the weather, I have a feeling this isn't ur last battle...get em gurll

Olamild said...

Thank you all for your love & support